Liquids On A Plane
This blog entry about the events of Friday, August 25, 2006 was originally posted on August 26, 2006.
DAY 1: “So how does it work?” I asked, holding a bottle of Diet Coke. “Do I get rid of this now?”
It was my first flight since the LE scare (Liquid Explosive) of August 2006, an airline terror threat not to be confused with the other one of the month, SoaP (Snakes on a Plane). No liquids were allowed to be carried on-board any commercial flight. No snakes too, for that matter.
“You might as well drink it now and throw it out over there,” said Security Check Officer Rivera of JFK’s Terminal 3, pointing to a nearby trash bin. “They’ll squeeze your bladder on the other side,” he joked in a stereotypical New York accent.
I put all my carry-on items in the bin and chugged the Diet Coke down like my mouth was a kitchen drain, mindful that I hadn’t recently ingested any Mentos. “Hey, take your time,” Officer Rivera said. “You don’t want that coming out your nose.”
I took my shoes off and put them in the bin for the X-ray machine while Officer Rivera continued to make small talk. “So where you goin’?” he asked.
Rather than explain my long, yet cost-effective 20-hour three-leg journey of New York -> Paris -> Munich -> Malaga, I simply answered, “Ultimately Spain.”
“What do you have planned for Spain?”
“Well, you know that festival where they throw tomatoes at each other?”
“Oh yeah. Where is that, Pamplona?”
“Valencia.”
“Oh. I think they got the bulls in Pamplona. You doin’ that?”
I threw out my empty soda bottle and Officer Rivera wished me well to send me on my way through the metal detector. Once in the secured area, I went right to the bathroom to relieve myself of the Diet Coke.
THE DELTA AIRLINES RED EYE FLIGHT (picture above) to Paris doubled as my Air France flight, as well as one run by AeroMexico. The cabin was full of many “sí”s and “oui”s and on top of that, there were many Indians on board as the plane would continue from Paris to Chennai, India.
Sitting next to me in coach was Sid (short for Siddhartha) a VP of some outsourced financial consulting firm in Bangalore — “a boring job” as he told me in a stereotypical Indian accent. With only six hours flight time to Paris, it was barely enough time to get a good night’s rest upon arrival in the morning. Sid told me that he had purposely not gotten a good night’s sleep for the past couple of days so that he could just pass out on the flight. “Red wine also helps,” he told me.
“Red, but not white,” I said.
“Yes, only red.”
I’m sure the red wine he consumed at dinner ultimately made him take a piss in the lavatory that night. And I’m pretty confident he didn’t take a photo of it like I did — although who knows what he does for kicks from his mundane job?
Next entry: United Nations of Malaga
Previous entry: After Timbuktu
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Comments for “Liquids On A Plane”
Ah yes, a reversion to my roots: TOILET HUMOR! Enjoy…
Posted by Erik TGT
The quality of photos better improve, or I quit!
Posted by shelle on 08/26 at 05:20 PM
time to bring back the FIRST! (erik doesn’t count)...but then again i
knew his flight plan….Posted by markyt on 08/26 at 05:21 PM
i guess someone else is doing their sunday morning read… it’s better
than reading the new york times…Posted by markyt on 08/26 at 05:22 PM
Seriously now…
Posted by Michelle on her couch on 08/26 at 05:36 PM
is it just me or does the plane look like its flying TO the US?
Posted by Michelle on her couch on 08/26 at 05:39 PM
Michelle, No, it’s not you - that’s the first thing I noticed: “Wait,
the coke made Erik fly BACK to the States?” Happy trails, Erik!Posted by tallgirl
The little plane icon shows you where you are, not where you are going to.
Erik - darn that wifi! Hope you had a good flight! Looking forward to
the tomato pics:)
And really, did we have to start the blog off with toilet pics??Posted by Liz
Yo Erik! So you’re back in Paris? It’s pouring here (sunday, 2:58pm,
Jersey Shitty) Looking forward to a whole new adventure! My friend came
back from Ireland just last week and they let her on with a bottle of
water in her bag. Just love airport security!Posted by oogy on 08/26 at 10:05 PM
yay! now what do you have planned for the beginning of december? theres
gonna be a little something going on over here in portland!
Posted by travelgirltiff on 08/26 at 10:10 PM
groan…..oh no! what an entrance after a long silence! Looking forward
to reading all about this new adventure! Hey Canadians…hop on board to
travel again! RosePosted by Anonymous on 08/27 at 01:37 AM
Sunday, 7:15pm: Open the Travel Blog. Happy to see a new entry. Scroll
through details of airport security. First linked picture? Erik
relieving himself. 7:17pm: hoping pictures improve in next entry.Looking forward to more entries!
Posted by Dan3 on 08/27 at 02:26 AM
7.40pm. i like the photos, they are definitely more fun then doin
laundry on a rainy sunday evening. go erik!Posted by Anonymous on 08/27 at 02:52 AM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Posted by bil Chamberlin
*Dang!*
Posted by bil Chamberlin
<http://www.blogger.com/profile/05087591227757317086>
Looks like you were well hydrated. As a semi-professional medical
professional, that’s what we call “good.”Also, gotta love the Google ads on the bottom…
“Kidney and Bladder Cleanse. Herbal. Decongests, tones kidneys and
bladder. Dissolves stones and mucus.”Almost like it was chosen specifically for you, Erik!
Posted by Dave and Melody on 08/27 at 08:55 AM
Dave and Melody, it WAS choosen just for Erik. See google AdSense. As
you see, you get some interesting ads sometimes depending on site content.Posted by Anonymous on 08/27 at 03:08 PM
GREETINGS FROM MALAGA… Yes, the pictures will improve. If you recall,
I only started doing toilet pictures when its a slow news day. Plus, I
couldn??t resist since I had to set the tone of things in the first entry
right.??Things have picked up significantly now that I??m in Spain and there??s
more to take photos of. I hope to have the next entry up on time (before
the day is done, local time.)Posted by Erik TGT
Doug! Happy to have something fun to read at work!
Posted by les morceaux de reese on 08/27 at 05:34 PM
i predict that at some point during your stay with jackie you’re gonna
end up assisting him on some type of animal surgery.Posted by T on 08/27 at 05:56 PM
We’re off again! Happy trails, and may the vicarious living begin!—Christy
Posted by Anonymous on 08/28 at 12:59 AM
//007. 1 4m 901n9 70 p0$7 1n |337 $p34|< 7hru 0u7!
btw, oogy..no japan trip?Posted by madc on 08/28 at 07:16 PM
Erik,
Good to see you blogging again. I’m armtravelling all the way from
Australia this time, though. I leave for Egypt next week. Woo!Posted by Alyson Ann Cina