Taken For A Ride

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DAY 229: Blogreader and former “The Trinidad Show” cast member (Ecuador) Navid was in good spirits on Yahoo! Messenger when I logged onto my daily morning internet session to upload Blog entries.  Having been to Egypt before, he gave me suggestions on what I should see in my limited 12-day stint in the country of the former ancient civilization:  Luxor, Aswan, Dahab and other historical sites.  It was good guidance for when I would leave Cairo and explore Egypt on my own.

It was Friday, the holy day in Muslim culture, and most of Cairo was shut down.  In and around Tahrir Square, the usual traffic jams were replaced with almost empty streets.  I figured if one place would be open, it’d be the places of tourism draw, and no where in Cairo is that draw bigger than the Pyramids of Giza, not too far away across the River Nile.

WITH THE INDEPENDENT TRAVEL SPIRIT that I had when traveling with Navid through Ecuador, I decided to forego a taxi or day tour service to Giza and take the public 355 (or 357) bus since it picked up passengers not too far away from my hotel, behind the Egyptian Museum.  However, I waited and waited and waited.  Buses went by with Arabic numerals I couldn’t understand, but I was convinced that the 355 or 357 would be marked in Western numbers since I had seen a “357” bus the night before.  I waited about an hour with no luck.  Perhaps it was because of the Friday holyday? 

I was about to go over to the side street to hop in a taxi when one stopped right in front of me.  “Are you going to Giza?” the taxi driver asked me.  He probably figured I was waiting for the 355 that was never to come.

“Yes.  How much?”

“Ten pounds,” he told me.  It was half of the normal E£20 to E£25 from every other cab driver, and he told me why.  “I live in Giza.  I just want to go home.”

“Alright.” I hopped in the front seat.

The taxi driver’s name was Amma and he was in a good mood.  I figured he was just happy to be off duty and to be headed home after a long day.  “You’re done working for the day?” I asked him.

“Yes, I am going home.  You know why?”

“Why?”

“Tonight, my wife is going to have baby!”

“Oh wow.”

He was bursting with happiness about his upcoming child (his first) and shared his enthusiasm with me.  “When you bye bye Cairo?” he asked in broken English.

“Not tomorrow, the next day.”

“You, after tomorrow, bye bye Cairo.  Me, after tomorrow, BABY!” He was all smiles and it was infectious.

We made our way down the highway that hugged the Nile and then cross over on a southern bridge towards the touristy neighborhood of Giza.  “Other taxi drivers charge twenty, twenty five, but Amma only charge ten because he is going home to Giza because his wife is going to have baby!” He started honking the horn in glee.  A guy on the street tried to flag him down, but he waved his hand as a No.  “Sorry, Amma is going home to have baby!” He grabbed my hand to honk the horn. 

“You tell your mother and father that Amma is good driver!”

“Okay!” I honked the horn again.  His enthusiasm as an upcoming father filled me with a celebratory spirit too.

“You, bye bye Cairo.  Me, baby!”

When we drove down the exit ramp, Amma told me that he’d like to buy me a tea with his friend really quickly on the way to the pyramids.  According to him, his hospitality towards me would give him good luck towards his new child.  I accepted.  We drove to a small street off the main one and parked the car; I was on guard in case it was a trap, and wary of the tea being tainted or something.  But everything was fine.

Or was it?

The teahouse was actually one of the many perfume stores in the area.  Amma and I sat at a booth in the corner and ordered the teas.  His friend Ababa came from prayer service to greet us shortly afterwards.  I thought it was be a joyous occasion of three guys celebrating a new child, but then Ababa started bringing out perfume samples.

Great, here we go.

Ababa had me smell an assortment of scents, from the famed essence of lotus plant to “Egyptian Viagra.” All very nice, but I wasn’t interested.  “No thanks, I’ll just have the tea.”

“But I’m giving you a good price!  Fifty piastres per gram.  You know usually it’s two pounds!”

“It’s true, it’s true.  I know.  I am from Giza,” Amma said.

“You know if you come in here without him, I charge four or five times more?” went Ababa’s argument.  “But you are friend of Amma, so I give you a deal.”

“Uh, that’s okay.  I’m fine.  I don’t have the room.”

“What you mean no room?  They are so small!”

“Do you have anything smaller then?”

Ababa had his worker bring out three empty smaller bottles in a gift case.  “Here, these are smaller.  I give you three bottles for price of two.  Good deal, okay?” He started pouring some essence into one of them.

“No, wait, I don’t want three.  I don’t want any of them.”

“You don’t want Egyptian Viagra?  It’s for the ladies!  Or how about essence of lotus?  You know you can’t get that anywhere but Egypt.  Not in Philippines or Israel or Italy.” I had told both of them that I was from the Philippines.

“He is telling truth.  I know!  I am from Giza!” Amma said, sipping his tea.

“Okay, okay, that’s nice, but I don’t want it.”

“But you asked for smaller, and I bring you smaller.  Look, I sell you three but you only pay for two.  See?  One, two.  This one free.  Okay, deal.”

“No, no.”

Great, I thought.  I think I just fell for one of the biggest scams in the book—or rather not in the book because my Lonely Planet Shoestring guide was so painfully inadequate.  It was becoming clear to me that I probably would never get to leave the store without buying anything; I was at the whim of a taxi driver, away from the pyramids in a store I didn’t want to be in, with an aggressive and pushy salesman, in a neighborhood I wasn’t familiar with so that I couldn’t just leave without getting lost.  Yup, I’d call that a big scam.

“If I buy something, I only want one,” I said.

Ababa got all defensive and almost a little angry.  “Why do you only want one?  I’m giving you deal for two.  Look eighty pounds for two.  That’s forty, forty and you get one free.”

“It is true!  I am from Giza, I know!” Amma said.  Okay Amma, I get it, you probably-not-having-baby-tonight motherfucker.

“I don’t have the room.  Really, I only want one.” I pointed to the essence of lotus and he poured it from the big bottle into the smaller one.  Then he poured some Egyptian Viagra in another.

“No, wait, I said I only want one.”

“You are getting a good deal!  Eighty for two!  Do you know how much I would charge you if you were American?  Two hundred or even two fifty!” (Funny, huh?)

“Really I don’t have the room.  Just one.”

It went back and forth:  my argument for “just one” (ugh, one up from “none"); Ababa’s argument that the bottles were so small and that I was getting a good deal because I came in with his friend; and Amma continuing to tell me that “he knows, he knows, because he is from Giza!” To keep the “friend” story going, Amma and Ababa would exchange words in Arabic and them come back with fake deals like there was some hard negotiations.  When I settled on just getting a small bottle of lotus essence for E£50, Amma pulled me aside to tell me something in “private” ten feet away from Ababa.  “Okay, since you are my friend, I convince him to give you second bottle for only twenty.”

“No, really, I only have room for the one.”

“Okay, I tried, but you don’t want a good deal.  It’s up to you,” was the gist of his emotional blackmail scam.  But I didn’t fall for it; at least not as much as I already had been up to that point.

In the end, I didn’t even finish my tea, nor did Amma.  In fact, Ababa never had a tea himself for the supposed “baby toast,” nor did Amma pay any money to anyone, providing the loophole that he was to buy me something for his supposed baby’s good luck.

I HOPPED INTO THE TAXI with a small bottle of lotus essence and fifty pounds less, feeling pretty dumb.  I even felt more dumb when I paid the ten for the ride to the pyramids when we arrived.  “Good luck with your baby tonight,” I wished him to see if he’d react appropriately.

“Thank you.  You tell your mother and father than Amma is good taxi driver!”

Yeah, right.  Mom, Dad… if you ever come to Cairo, avoid that man at all costs; he’s a total con artist.  I know, I know, he is from Giza.

THE PYRAMIDS OF GIZA are one of the Seven Wonders of the World.  Photos of he geometrically-simple, yet elaborate tombs of great pharaohs have stirred emotion and imagination in the minds of many people throughout the world for ages.  However, what these photos never depict is that right across the street from the Great Sphinx and the Pyramids lies a Pizza Hut and a KFC

I was happy to be within the compounds of the Great Sphinx and Pyramids, thinking that it being a tourism place I’d been within a contained area away from scammers like Amma and Ababa.  Boy, was I wrong.  While there was an entry gate into the perimeter, there was no such barrier for desperate Egyptians looking for a way to exploit tourists.  While most tourists were on package tours following a guide holding up a flag, I was alone, hoping to tour the pyramids independently with a Pocket PC guide voiced by Stephen Hawkings like I had received in the Egyptian Museum the day before.  No such digital guide existed, nor did any official human guide.  Once inside, if you were on your own, you were on your own.  Like the Egyptian Museum, there was a shortage of signage and labels for everything, and without a guide, I really didn’t know exactly what I was looking at.

There were some freelance guides leading clients on camels and horses out in the nearby desert and I went to check one of them out on the left side from the sphinx; it wasn’t hard to do because one of the camel drivers came to me and put a turban over my head.  After what I had been through with the taxi, I would have been turned off, but I was genuinely interested in a camel ride (picture above) anyway.  It was Egypt and the Sahara after all.

“How much is the tour?”

“One hundred, but for you eighty.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I can afford that.”

“I know you don’t have a lot of money, you are not American.  The Americans, I charge two hundred or two fifty!” (Funny, huh?)

I asked him about the tour, where we would go, for how long and if he was a good enough guide to tell me all the historical facts about the sites since apparently there were no boards posted up with explanations or labels.  He insured me everything would be fine, and for the “cheap” price of E£80.  For some reason, I felt eighty seemed reasonable; I anticipated it being a hundred Egyptian pounds. 

“Okay, let’s go.” I hopped on the saddle over the camel’s single hump, behind the guide and we started the trek through the desert.  I had my video camera out to shoot the scenery from the side; the front was obstructed by my guide’s back.

“Do you want to ride by yourself?”

“Yeah, that would be good if I can.” I figured he’d get off and walk along the side, but then he passed me off to a younger guy on a horse.  “Okay, you go with him, he is your guide.”

“And does he know all the history?  It’s very important to me.  I’m a writer.”

“No problem.  He knows it all.”

“Hello,” he said to me, proving that he actually did speak English.

“Okay.”

“You pay me the money now.  Eighty a animal.”

I gave him eighty pounds. 

“No, eighty per animal.  Eighty… eighty,” he said pointing to the camel and then the horse.

“Oh, no no.  I can’t afford another eighty.  Let’s just do it they way it was going to be.  You get back on the camel.”

“But you said you want to ride alone!”

“No, it’s okay, if it’s going to be eighty more.  Let’s just do it they way before you brought me to this guy.”

“Okay, I give you deal.  Forty for the horse.”

Ugh, it was getting tiring.  Doing things in Egypt independently was probably costing me more than if I had just booked a tour.  “Fine.  As long as the guide is good and can tell me all the history.”

“Don’t worry, he’s good.  He speaks English.”

And so, with me on the hump of a camel—whose name was “Mickey Mouse”—and my new guide on the back of a horse, we rode into the desert.

“SO WHAT PHARAOH BUILT THESE?” I asked my “informative” “guide” Isham as we bobbed up and down the Saharan sands around the pyramids.

He looked at me like I was making up words.  “Pharaoh?”

An Egyptian asking me what a “pharaoh” was?  What, was he kidding?  Every ten-year-old back in The States knows what a pharaoh is.  And this guy was my guide?

“Pharaoh.  Don’t you know?  King.”

“Oh, king!  Cheops, that is Chephren, and that is Mycerinus.  Do you know how many pyramids there are?”

“Nine, three big ones and six small ones.”

“Ah, you know.”

“So when where these pyramids built?” I asked Isham.

“They are made of limestone.”

“No, when.  What year?”

“Limestone.”

What Isham lacked in brain he made up for in not much else.  He was a good guy I suppose, always offering to take a photo of me with my camera, although the first time he tried to be funny when I handed him my camcorder.  “Okay, bye now,” he joked with my camera in his hand.

We journeyed to the prime vantage spots for photos in and around the pyramids of Cheops, Chephren and Mycerinus—of course, I didn’t know which one was which.  “If you want, you can go in that pyramid, but there is nothing to see,” Isham told me.  “Tourists pay twenty to go into a room, but there are no statues, it’s just a room.” He was telling me it was up to me if I wanted to go, but his advice was it was a waste of money.  “We go to that one [a smaller one] and you can climb it with a watchman.  He’ll take you up for good pictures and then into the tomb to see the statues.”

“But you just said there are no statues in the tombs.”

“There is in the small one.  The watchman will show you.”

“And how much is the watchman?”

“Nothing, you just give him tip.  Whatever you decide.”

Of course.

“What do you want?” Isham asked me.

“Uh… let’s go closer and then I’ll decide.”

“Okay.” Isham, the horse, Mickey Mouse the Camel and I went over to one of the small pyramids.  The “watchman” came to me.  He told me that he could take me up to the top for a photo opp ("Very good pictures from there, see everything, all pyramids") and then into the tomb.

“Only fifty pounds,” he quoted me.

“But this guy said it was free!”

The “watchman” thought for a moment and then asked me if I had some sunblock lotion.  Granted, it was pretty hot out there under the Sahara sun.  I took the bottle out of my bag and have him a dab.

“No, the bottle and I bring you for free.”

“Nah, that’s okay, I don’t want to climb it anymore.” Was climbing even a permitted option?  No one else was climbing up the side of a pyramid, big or small.

“You give me cream and I bring you for free.”

“No thanks.  I’ll just ride the camel.  I like riding the camel.”

He asked for a little more lotion ("I have skin problems") and I gave him another dab to get rid of him.  Isham led the horse and camel around the small pyramid (of which I didn’t know the name of).  “Okay, for free you can climb up here,” he told me, like he was doing me a favor.  “You climb up for good picture.  You give me the camera and I take it.”

Uh, yeah right.  I go up, away from my camera so that you can be alone with it, on a horse no less, while I’m twenty steps up away?  I don’t think so.

“Nah, really.  I don’t want to climb the pyramid anymore.  I like riding the camel.”

“Okay.  As long as you are happy.  Are you happy?”

“Sure, I just like riding the camel.  When else will I ride a camel?”

Isham took me and the camel to a spot in the desert where others were gathered, including a handful of tourists.  It was the prime location for a classic shot of the pyramids into one frame.  Nearby where two vendors trying to make a buck; one chotchskie vendor that I ignored, and a cold soft drink vendor, which enticed me.  “How much for the Mirinda [orange soda]?”

“Five pounds.”

Before I could decide whether or not I wanted to pay that much, he opened the bottle and shoved it into my hand.  Oh well, I’m in the middle of the desert and I’m thirsty.  The syrupy orange liquid went down my throat.

“Okay, one hundred pounds.”

“You said five.”

He smiled like he was just joking.  Ha, ha.  “Ten.”

“You said five.”

“No, it’s ten!”

I pulled out a five and gave it to him.  Luck was on my side (I suppose) but it was one of the rare occasions I actually had the exact amount with no need for change from a larger bill (that I usually never get back). 

“Ten.  Five more.” He waited for me to pull out another bill but I wouldn’t budge.

“You said it was five!  It would be different if you said ten to begin with, then maybe I’d give you ten.  But you said five.  That’s it.”

Another tourist on a horse rode into the area and he turned his attention to her and left me alone.  All of this happened in front of Egyptian policemen too—they were stationed all around the area, but weren’t providing any sort of peace or justice as far as I was concerned.

“Okay, we go around and to the sphinx,” Isham told me.

“Okay.”

“Are you happy?”

No response.  But I kept my spirits up and enjoyed the ride.

A COUPLE OF MORE PHOTOS AND DIGITAL CLIPS LATER, we were back at the entry gate for me to dismount.  Here comes the tip bit, I thought.  I figured I’d give him twenty or maybe thirty, then he argued that people usually give him up to one hundred. 

“One hundred?  That’s more than the camel ride!”

“But that’s for the animal.  What about for me?”

Ugh.  It was tiring.  I had nothing smaller than a fifty and of course I didn’t get any change back.  Isham took it and rode off into the sunset as I wondered if “Isham” translated to “I scam.”

THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON, I wandered the area, walking around the pyramids, and I still didn’t know what I was looking at.  Other camel touts tried to sell me a ride, but I insisted that I had been taken for a ride already.  (Taken for a ride, many times that day.) I walked passed one guy and declined him and he tried to play the friend bit.  “Son, come here.  Take this for good luck.” Good luck?  I’d heard this line before.

The perimeter closed at 5 p.m. and I left.  The only refuge I could figure to go to to avoid the aggressive and clever touts was the KFC.  God bless Colonel Sanders. 

Navid told me that morning that the nightly Sound and Light show at the pyramids was worth seeing, so I decided not to go back into the city and hang out to check it out.  Tickets and seating wasn’t available until 8:00 so I had about three hours to kill—I spent them quietly in a nearby internet cafe across the street from the pyramids.  At my chair was a computer screen and to my left, out the window, stood the pyramids at dusk like it was no big deal.

I arrived fifteen minutes before 8:00 to get a ticket at the designated light show seating area, but like the movie theater experience the night before, seating didn’t begin until the announced time.  I had time to kill again and I was going to take refuge in the KFC again, but next door to it was a nice looking cafe with a roof terrace.  Figuring I couldn’t run off to Colonel Sanders every time I was in need, I looked at the cafe.

“Come in.  Very good view.”

And it was.  From the roof terrace you could see it all, the sphinx, the pyramids, the Sahara as the backdrop—all without a backward KFC or Pizza Hut logo to obstruct the view.  The waiter there asked me if I was staying for the show; the norm was that people usually saw the show from there with dinner for E£60-65 instead of paying the E£40 for the official seats (E£35 more for video rights).  Sounded like a good deal, and it was—others paid the 65 while I only paid 60. 

An impressive synchronized light show illuminated the pyramids in different primary colors to an outdated sixties-esque orchestral soundtrack, while an outdated sixties-esque narrator explained the history of the pyramids, just within earshot of the restaurant terrace.  There were only about ten of us in total on the terrace for dinner, and I sat next to a table of three older tourists traveling on a tour.  It was their last night in Egypt and the Sound and Light show was their big send off.  They had been on tour for two weeks and saw all the main sites.

I befriended the woman from Miami Beach sitting next to me and she shared her enthusiasm of how Egypt was all a dream for her until she actually got there; it was all “amazing” for her; all that ancient architecture, and above all, all that history.

“In the beginning there were so many facts about this pharaoh and that one, and dates, and wars and it was like an overload of information!  So much history!  After a while you hear it all and slowly it starts to process and make sense,” was the jist of her raves. 

“I’m surprised that there isn’t much explanation or any signs at any of the sites,” I told her.  “Usually I can do things independently.”

“You really need to get a guide.  Our guide has been great!  He’s an archaeologist and is studying anthropology.”

I couldn’t help but be a bit jealous.  Archaeologist as a guide?  Wow.  My guide didn’t even know what a goddam pharaoh was.

AS I RODE BACK INTO TOWN with a much friendlier and less shady taxi driver that gave me Arabic lessons, I realized that perhaps a guided tour was in order, especially with my limited time in Egypt.  As they say, time is money, and in my case, I didn’t have much of either—but I’m sure Amma’s “baby” did.


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This blog entry about the events of Friday, June 04, 2004 was originally posted on June 06, 2004 on the blog, "The Global Trip 2004: Sixteen Months Around The World (Or Until Money Runs Out, Whichever Comes First)," hosted by BootsnAll.com. It is one of over 500 entries that chronicled a trip around the world from October 2003 to March 2005, encompassing travel through thirty-seven countries in North America, South America, Africa, Europe, and Asia. It was this blog that "started it all," where Erik evolved and honed his style of travel blogging. (It starts to come into focus around the time he arrives in Africa.)

Praised and recommended by USA Today, RickSteves.com, and readers of BootsnAll and Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree, The Global Trip blog was selected by the editors of PC Magazine for the "Top 100 Sites You Didn't Know You Couldn't Live Without" (in the travel category) in 2005.






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