An Episode of E.R.

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DAY 112: Behind the scenes, the producers of “The Trinidad Show” (me) had been emailing certain former cast members in hopes they would return for another appearance.  Like the returns of Diane on Cheers and Lilith on Frasier, Lara—who I met in Lima, spent Christmas in Cusco with, partied with in La Paz, and toured the Bolivian salt flats with—came back for some more episodes.

Little did we know that her comeback would be on an episode similar to one of the medical drama E.R.

LIKE THE TEAMS IN THE SECOND SEASON of CBS’ The Amazing Race, Lara and I raced to a camp outside the Brazilian city Foz do Iguaçu near the world famous Iguaçu Falls, from different starting points that morning.  I came straight from the north from Campo Grande, unknowingly one hour into the future of a new time zone, while Lara came from the south, with a little delay at her border crossing from Argentina into Brazil.  We kept track of our locations with internet cafe stops and realized that we arrived in the city at about the same time, without ever running into each other.  Lara, who wasn’t about to attempt to start learning Portuguese too early, just hopped in a cab while I chose the long way for 28 real less: three public buses to take me to the finish line 12 km out of town.  I had missed my stop on the second bus and fell behind, having to walk half a mile with my packs in the sun to catch my third bus.  Lara was already reading a book in a hammock when I arrived.

“Hey there!” she called to me.

“Hey!  When d’you get here?”

“About an hour ago.”

Lara followed me to my guy’s dorm room and we caught up on our travels as I sorted out my things.  “I have something for you,” I told her before surprising her with her favorite treat:  a pack of Oreos. 

She smiled but told me she was now on a diet.

LONELY PLANET described the Hostelling International Paudimar hostel as a “mini resort” and they weren’t kidding.  For just $9 (US), you stay in a secluded little paradise with big lawns and hammocks everywhere, internet access, a sports field, a swimming pool and a bar.  I joined Lara—aka “Ms. Croft” (as in Lara Croft of Tomb Raider fame)—at the pool to cool down with a dip and a couple of cocktails.  It was a perfect resting period after the race that morning.

LARA WAS GETTING LOW ON CASH so we decided to take the public bus back into town to look for a bank.  We walked to the main road, hopped on the crowded bus, making fun of the little boy who hated my backpack swinging in his face.  The bus took us to the central urban terminal, a collection of roofed platforms with metal signs hanging from above to designate your bus stop.  As soon as I got off the bus, the sign “Parque Nacional / Villa Carima” decided to randomly come off its chain and plummet straight down on my head like a guillotine.  Its timing couldn’t have been more precise; it missed my shoulders, arms and struck me dead center on top of my head. 

At first I thought nothing of it—I just held my head in pain and started laughing, which prompted Lara to start laughing, making everyone around us think we were on something—but soon blood started dripping all over my face and down my neck and we realized it wasn’t a simple cartoon injury.

Luckily an English-speaking guy with “France” on his name tag from the nearby information booth came to my aid.  He led me to the men’s room so I could wash up and analyze the situation.

“Are you a doctor?” Lara asked.

“No, but I have some first aid training,” France answered as blood continued to rush down my face.

“You need to apply pressure on it to stop the bleeding,” France said.  “Do you have an extra t-shirt in your bag or something?”

I scrambled through it.  “No.”

France quickly asked Lara if she would take her sarong off so we could use that, but she refused.  Later she told me that she was all up for helping me, but wasn’t about to walk around the city in just her bikini bottoms.

Luckily I found my small towel in my bag and we used that amidst the chaos.  Chaos is no fun unless its documented with cameras, so Lara had my little camera around her neck to document the events—while still laughing along with me the whole time.

France escorted us to the nearby police station—we stopped briefly to take a photo of me and my assailant.  The police didn’t speak any English, but luckily France was around to translate.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, still smiling and giggling with Lara who was nursing me with water from the water cooler.

France had a squad car pick me up instead of an ambulance.  Lara and I hopped in the back seat while an officer was up front. 

“[He’s a tourist,]” France told the cop in their native tongue.  “[He doesn’t speak Portuguese.]”

The door closed shut and we drove off to the public hospital.

I GAVE LARA MY PASSPORT, MEDICAL RECORDS AND INSURANCE CARD and she sorted me out with admissions while I rushed into the emergency room.  A male nurse led me to the gurney while I laid and waited, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what would happen next as a pool of blood started to collect underneath my head.  Unfortunately there were no hot Brazilian female nurses to tend to me—they were all male—but luckily the lovely and headstrong Nurse Croft came to my side despite administration telling her it wasn’t allowed.  She knew me well enough that I would have been pissed if no one was around with a camera to document the whole thing.  (You can thank her for these photos.)

An E.R. surgeon came into the room with a handful of supplies to prepare for surgery.

“Wow, look at the size of that needle!” Lara said to me and I lay in my own blood.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I’ll shut up now… Oh what’s that?  It looks like chocolate sauce.”

“Chocolate sauce?”

The “chocolate sauce” was actually an anethetic and before I knew it was coming, the doctor was injecting it into my head around my wound.  It numbed the pain pretty fast because I didn’t feel anything as he sewed me up with about five or six stitches (picture above).  Another doctor came in to check up on things, talking to the other in the foreign Portuguese that I nor Lara could comprehend.  Staring up at the ceiling, I told Lara, “Wow, its like The Twilight Zone in here.”

In a short while I was all stitched up and ready to leave, despite the cartoon-like lump on my head that was starting to swell down.  The city had paid for my medical expenses, probably since I was from the U.S.A., the country of suers.  I wouldn’t have sued anyway—it would have been too much of a hassle and besides, I got my exciting Blog entry out of it.

NURSE CROFT TOOK ME OUT FOR ICE CREAM at a nearby parlor before we went wandering the city of Foz do Iguaçu.  There wasn’t much to do on a Sunday so we had a quick cocktail and walked back to the terminal.  The “Parque Nacional” sign hadn’t been hung up yet—it was probably down at the station for questioning like in a television police drama.

LARA AND I CHILLED OUT at the poolside bar for dinner and spiked milkshakes that night.  We wondered how bad things could have been if I wasn’t wearing my baseball cap, which cushioned some of the blow from the edge of the metal sign—and now had a bad ass blood stain on it for my memento.

“I would have had to post a message on your website to your mom to call me,” Lara said. 

Sure, an episode of involving my parents in a hospital would most likely be more entertaining that this one, but that’s something the producers of “The Trinidad Show” would probably save for Sweeps Week.


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This blog entry about the events of Sunday, February 08, 2004 was originally posted on February 09, 2004 on the blog, "The Global Trip 2004: Sixteen Months Around The World (Or Until Money Runs Out, Whichever Comes First)," hosted by BootsnAll.com. It is one of over 500 entries that chronicled a trip around the world from October 2003 to March 2005, encompassing travel through thirty-seven countries in North America, South America, Africa, Europe, and Asia. It was this blog that "started it all," where Erik evolved and honed his style of travel blogging. (It starts to come into focus around the time he arrives in Africa.)

Praised and recommended by USA Today, RickSteves.com, and readers of BootsnAll and Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree, The Global Trip blog was selected by the editors of PC Magazine for the "Top 100 Sites You Didn't Know You Couldn't Live Without" (in the travel category) in 2005.





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